


you´re ruining my pretending.

by vicbartons



Series: we were just kids when we fell in love [1]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Alternative Universe - High School, Angst, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, M/M, alternative universe - teenagers, mention of homophobia and the q slur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-07-02 19:07:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15802731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vicbartons/pseuds/vicbartons
Summary: It was a good thing that both Aaron and Robert were so good at pretending.At least they had been until that very moment when from one second to the next they found their mouths pressed against each other right there outside of the Barton´s farm.





	you´re ruining my pretending.

**Author's Note:**

> title from ruining my pretending by swmrs  
> short prequel to [you make me melt like ice cream](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15553731)

In the end, neither boy could have told you which one of them had moved first.

They’d been playing this game for far too long by now.

Probably since that day on the school yard when an only 14-year-old Aaron had pulled Charlie Henderson from year 12 off of a kicking and screaming Matty and pinned him against the wall of the gymnasium, sneering at him – all teeth and red face - that if he wanted to beat up a “queer“, he should maybe try someone his own size.

Robert had only stood at the sidelines, wide-eyed and with rose-coloured cheeks. 

Not just from pride, but also because just for a second he’d felt that spark of possibility in the pit of his stomach. 

But of course he hadn´t acted on it. 

Neither one of them had.

Not Aaron, who had never planned to come out at all, let alone publicly not two meters from the monkey bars where he´d chipped his front tooth at age 12 and certainly not with half of Hotten Academy staring at him as if he’d just announced he’d give auditioning for “Dancing on Ice“ a go.

And most certainly not Robert, who was perfectly happy to build up his reputation as the school’s womanizer in chief by getting his tongue down the throat of every above average looking girl that was making moon eyes at him as publicly as possible, in a desperate attempt to forget how Ben Whittaker´s mouth had tasted when he’d pulled him to the side for a snog around the back of a seedy kebab shop during their school trip to York or how all he wanted to do when he watched Aaron bite his bottom lip in concentration while they half-heartedly did their math homework at the pub together every Thursday was to lean over the table and put his mouth right there instead.

So they had let the pressure build. 

Through Jackson showing up, through Robert´s eventual coming out, through his dad beating him for it, through Jackson leaving again and through the inevitable fallout of it all. 

Both of them bruised and a bit broken but always together, their apparent attraction a constant undercurrent that was getting harder and harder to ignore.

Somewhere along the line, their friendship had started to feel like an elastic band being pulled to two opposing sides, never tearing but slowly brittling from the sheer pressure of forcibly being kept from just snapping together the way the laws of physic so desperately wanted it to for so long, both boys determined to stick with brittle if only it meant that they wouldn’t have to deal with the potentially disastrous alternative.

It was a good thing that both Aaron and Robert were so good at pretending.

At least they had been, until that very moment when from one second to the next they found their mouths pressed against each other right there under the street light outside of the Barton’s farm, some Wombats track Aaron loved blaring from the loud speakers, muffled by the distance as well as the chatter of the horde of pissed teenagers inside.

Aaron´s hand found a hold at the back of Robert´s neck, pulling himself up on his tiptoes as he let his tongue slide along Robert´s bottom lip, his teeth grazing the skin there until Robert moaned into him in a dirty way and opened up his mouth, hands digging into the fabric of Aaron´s hoodie til their bodies were pressed together from head to toe, curling around each other. 

The kiss was all hot breath and tongues, alcohol and exhilaration making their movements sloppy and desperate. 

As he let his hands wander up and down Aaron’s sides, tongue hungrily curling behind the younger boy’s teeth and getting lost in the taste of vodka, the smoke of a Carlton red and Pringles that should have been at least slightly disgusting, Robert guessed that “sloppy and desperate” was what you got for waiting years and years to just snog the life out of your best mate, but he couldn’t even be bothered to linger on those thoughts when Aaron´s hands were on his arse.

They stayed like that for a while, grinding and moaning and exploring, until Aaron let out a low huff and pulled back, looking up into Robert´s eyes with a scowl the older boy couldn’t quite place. But it certainly wasn’t the face of someone whose world had just been rocked, which was quite frankly the kind of look Robert thought this particular moment required.

Aaron obviously didn’t though.

Robert took a step back, all excitement punched out of him within a second.

“Sorry, I-“ he apologized, but his fingers were still holding onto Aaron´s waist.

“Nah, don’t worry about it, I just-“ Aaron muttered, shaking his head a little.“I shouldn’t have-“

“You didn´t. We both-“ Robert looked like a deer caught in the headlights, white light hitting him from behind, back pressed against the cold metal of the street light, wide-eyed and all disheveled. Shirt crumbled and hair sticking up to all sides thanks to Aaron´s handywork. Hastily, he pulled his hands out of Robert´s jeans pockets like he’d just been burned. “Fucking jager bombs, eh?“ Aaron tried to joke, but he couldn’t even make the forced lopsided grin reach his eyes.

“Aaron,“ Robert´s voice was soft like a plea, the older boy clearly setting himself up for some sort of big declaration that had been bubbling under the surface for years, but Aaron just shook his head and looked down, suddenly fascinated by his shuffling sneakers in the dirt.

“Please Robert, just-“ the younger boy untangled himself from Robert´s grip on his waist and took a step back, the lack of touch finally allowing him to breathe again, albeit heavier than before. “Just let me go and we´ll talk about it in the morning, right?“

“Right, yeah.“

They wouldn’t, not really, and they both knew it.

But Robert guessed it was better to pretend for a couple more hours that maybe, possibly they hadn´t both just ruined the best thing either of them had ever had for a quick, drunken snog in the dark.

Almost as good as pretending that that was all that kiss had been.

So Robert stuck his hands down his pockets to stop himself from reaching out and watched Aaron turn around and go, only the line of his slumped shoulders and his head hanging down illuminated by the street light behind him, and then he scuffled home in the opposite direction, wrapping his leather jacket tight around his middle like a shield as he went, determined not to cry. 

Not until he was locked inside his room and curled up under a blanket.

(“Nothing happened, mate.“ That’s what Aaron said the next afternoon when they hung about the cricket pavillion and Adam just wouldn’t let up about the two of them disappearing early the night before. “Nothing important anyway.“ he muttered before burying his teeth into his bottom lip and side-eyeing Robert. And in spite of it all, all Robert wanted to do was lean forward and press his mouth to the corner of Aaron´s to loosen the sharp grip of his chipped front tooth against the flesh there with his tongue.

It was a good thing that both of them were so damn good at pretending, right?)

 

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr [@vicbartons](http://www.vicbartons.tumblr.com)


End file.
